Anywhere I would've followed you
by kayweston
Summary: Emily has a painful decision to make. It's the girls who try to convince her, but why does she feel like she has no choice? Emily and Alison. Emison. Set after the Fatal Finale.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own anything (and boy, do I wish I did).**

**Hi guys! I'm extremely nervous to publish, but hope you enjoy this little story! Rated M for future chapters. **

**The title is of course a part of the lyrics - my song of inspiration was A Great Big World's "Say Something". **

**A HUGE thanks to Baby Darth Dalloway - for all the amazing words and for the encouragement.**

**Thank you, in advance, for any reviews/messages/favs/follows/everything! I would LOVE to know what you guys think! **

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><p>"I can't do that," Emily tried once again, but she knew already that she was fighting a losing battle.<p>

"Of course you can!", Hanna exclaimed angrily. "You're the one she hurt the most. Get a grip, Em!"

"Am I?", Emily said quietly, more to herself than to the other girls, her voice weak and full of fatigue. They had been discussing it for two hours now, and it wasn't getting any easier.

"Look Em," Spencer placed her hand on Emily's arm reassuringly, "You're the only one she'll talk to if something blows. I know this is hard. But that's the right thing to do, no matter how wrong it seems now."

Aria simply nodded, giving Emily a small, compassionate smile.

"And besides," Spencer continued, her voice even softer, "if she does see you, which I doubt will happen, you can always lie."

Emily shook her head. Like lies have ever gotten them anywhere. She huffed and rolled her eyes, but didn't speak the words out loud. Instead, she uttered in an edgy voice: "I'll think about it."

She couldn't sleep that night. Did her friends really ask her to spy on Alison? She presumed, she somehow did, that she was the right (well, the safest) person to do such a thing. Even after the other night. And she knew that, although each girl was hurt by Ali, she was probably the most desperate to get the answers. And the most desperate to hope, against all odds and against their better judgement, that what they believed to be true wasn't actually true – at all.

Her bed was suddenly too large, her sheets too heavy and her mind was rushing in too many different directions all at once, causing sheer frustration and this strange burning inside her chest. All she could hear were Alison's words from the night before. _I'm A. Right? _All she could see was her face, her soft curly hair and her bright blue eyes filled with… Emily was sure – what she saw in those eyes was pain in its purest form.

She got so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize that first rays of sunshine started their dance in her room - it was early morning already. As she readjusted to reach for her phone, she heard aggressive knocking on the door. Groaning, she got up, seeing two missed calls from Paige. Without even trying to text her (what could she possibly say? "Hello, I'm a spy?"), or to fix her hair or her tee, she went downstairs. Sure, it were the girls, and Hanna stormed into her house, looking extremely impatient.

"Well?", she demanded.

Emily looked at her and furrowed her eyebrows, still semi-conscious after the night's emotional tirade, trying hard to connect the words to the idea. "Well what, Hanna? And hello to you, too, by the way." She didn't mean to sound that annoyed, but she did, glaring at them all now, clearly agitated.

"Have you thought it over or haven't you?" were Hanna's next, irritable words.

Emily just blinked in disbelief, watching her friends closely. Spencer was standing in the hallway with her arms crossed, and a slight look of embarrassment creeping down her face. Aria was nervously fidgeting with her mobile phone, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"We really have no time to lose, Em," was all the petite brunette said, an apologetic tone to her voice.

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep, raspy breath. She felt she could faint any minute now, so she rested her hand on the cold wall. "I will do it."

Her voice was rough and bitter, as if she regretted her decision already.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I, sadly, do not own PLL.**

**Hi Guys!**

**First of all - a **huge THANK YOU to each and everyone of you for making the time to read and/or review the first chapter. Thank you so much for following the story. I can't even express my gratitude and I feel like I don't even deserve this!****

**And I am SO sorry. I know it took me forever to update. I have to admit – the chapter has been ready for quite some time now. But… I was just freaking out that it's not good enough, and I prolonged the publication out of pure insecurity. There, I said it.**

**Anywho. Please read, review, fav, do whatever pleases you! Enjoy!**

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><p>"Right, so let's get started," Spencer said, and handed Emily a sheet of paper she had taken out of her bag. After scanning it quickly, Emily understood. In front of her was their, well – Spencer's - outline of the whole action, including a detailed layout of the DiLaurentis house, Kenneth DiLaurentis's work schedule, and a map with the list of places in which Ali could be possibly seen (along with the specific location of the barn Paige was talking about).<p>

"Wow, you gave it some serious thought, didn't you?" Emily said, a hint of accusation seeping through her voice.

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><p>The girls discussed the matter in details. Three of them were talking, that is, and one was unusually quiet, with only a very loud whirlwind of thoughts inside her head.<p>

They agreed Emily should try to be not only their eyes, but also their ears, whenever possible, and every potential outcome was taken into consideration. Every, except - it seemed to Emily – the one in which Alison was _not _A.

Hanna didn't want to even hear about it, and Spencer was almost as defensive as the rebellious blonde. Aria, in turn, didn't want to oppose, so she was merely shooting Emily sympathetic glances every now and then.

They decided it would be best if Emily wore a new set of clothes – one in which she had never been seen before. It was a grey hooded jacket with some loose black trousers - nothing special, in fact an outfit average enough to go unnoticed. At one point, they even considered Em wearing a mask, but quickly decided against it, figuring they couldn't possibly engage themselves in any A-like actions (which sounded so damn painful to Emily now, considering just _who _their main "A" suspect was.)

They decided to observe Alison the whole school day and meet after classes to start their "A mission", as Hanna called it, much to Emily's distaste. They went to Spencer's, knowing it would be relatively effortless to observe the DiLaurentis house and Alison's actions from there. It almost felt like yet another sleepover.

Almost.

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><p>As far as the DiLaurentis household was concerned, nothing special happened. Ali was presumably texting somebody. She was also on her phone two times, but the calls were rather short. Spencer regretted not having thought of planting a listening device at Ali's, which caused Emily to groan and mumble something under her breath, because couldn't they <em>see <em>that absolutelynothing was happening?

It was only sometime around midnight when things began to change. The girls were half asleep on Spencer's bed, not exactly fulfilling their night watch very well, but Aria woke up for a moment and noticed some movement.

"Guys, wake up! Something's going on!" she half-shouted and the girls all jumped out of bed, clearly panicked.

"Gee, Aria, not so frigging loud," Hanna demanded groggily rubbing her eyes, but looked out of the window nonetheless.

Indeed, something _was_ going on. Alison flang on a black hoodie, took a large torch from the desk and soon the girls saw her sneaking out of the house, carefully looking around with every step.

Hanna sounded almost proud of herself. "See! I told you!"

"We're not sure of anything yet, Han," Spencer nearly snapped, fully aware that such cheerful allegations were the last thing Emily needed right now. "Em, it's time," she added, and Emily took a deep, shaky breath and ran out of the Hastings house as fast as she could, not even bothering to reply to their "Text us whenever you can!", "Remember our code!" and a quieter "Be careful, Em!"

This was it. She felt adrenaline rush in her bloodstream as she started following the hooded blonde, stepping quietly on the granite sidewalk, trying to inhale and exhale slowly to calm herself, and the most painful thing about it was – she had no idea what she was going to find out. She wasn't even sure if she wantedto. Because, for one - hell knew what she was about to experience. But also… no, who was she kidding - _mainly _because she felt, somewhere deep inside, that it was a very, very wrong thing to do. Or rather – that theywere very wrong about this whole thing. And with every breath Emily took, the walls around her heart were closing up, and the closer she was to knowledge, the more suffocated she felt.

The walk wasn't long, and the goosebumps and an uneasy knotting in the gut of her stomach made Emily realize where Alison – where _they _– were headed.

_Shady Pines Cemetery_

She kept her distance as she observed the blonde find a particular gravestone and kneel near it. The realization of what was going on kept creeping down her whole body, sending shivers down her spine and seriously - how could she, what kind of a person was she, following somebody to such a place, consciously and deliberately?

Trying to silence her own distressful thoughts, Emily hid in the nearby bushes as quietly as possible. She knew she could not run away just yet, .

"Mother…" the kneeling figure started, her voice breaking slightly.

"Mother. I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday. I promise I will be visiting you everyday now, as always." She sighed softly and cleared her throat. "I just…I couldn't yesterday."

"See… Emily doesn't trust me anymore. I know. I know, I deserve it. But I did it all to protect her. Protect them."

Emily felt a lump in her throat and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. The chilly and oxygen sparse air and the silence surrounding them enabled her to hear the words that Alison was uttering, and there was no way she could un-hear them now.

"I just wish all of this was over and I could tell her everything. And I just…", Alison paused, inhaling sharply.

"I just wish she knew she's my whole world."

"Mo –", she hesitated. "_Mom,_ please help me."

The last words were almost inaudible, but Emily could have sworn she'd heard them resonate loud in her ears, in her brain, sinking in to her very core. Paralyzed, she felt warm trickles streaming down her cheeks, and she didn't want to stop them now, she just didn't. The only thing she wanted to do was hold Alison tight, like she was the only person left in the world, hold her and never, ever let go.

She knew it was time for her to pull out, she did, she knew she shouldn't be listening to this very personal confession, but she had this strange feeling that she _needed _to be close to Alison in that moment, even if in hiding, just to see if she was safe. But seriously, what had they been thinking? What had she agreed to do? She was suddenly so angry, no – she was _livid_ - for doubting the girl who'd been buried alive by her own mother, who had forgiven this very mother and was confessing to her right now, who had risked everything to save each and every one of them more times than she could count, who…

Her thoughts were interrupted by an abrupt movement. It was Alison, shifting uneasily and looking around, as if in an attempt to find an intruder.

"Hello?" Emily heard her call out in a shaky voice.

It seemed she regained her composure only seconds after, because she stood up and clenched her jaw before speaking. "If that's you, you can come out now and finish what you had started. I'm not scared anymore," Alison stated, not one crack in her voice.

No, no, no._ No._

Alison had apparently noticed her in the bushes and now started walking in her direction, torch in her hand. There was no turning back. None whatsoever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own PLL.**

**Hi, Guys! You're awesome, you know that? Thank you all so much – for your support, for your reviews, for everything! It means so much.**

**This chapter is a collaboration - thank you emisonxx for the edits and for everything you did (and still do) for me! Wouldn't publish it without you! And gosh, aren't you an amazing writer. **

**Thank you once again, guys, and now - well, I can only hope that this meets your expectations. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Are you deaf? Get out!" Alison sounded so enraged now, so <em>furious<em>, that anyone would have been terrified by that tone of voice itself. She didn't seem to care about the risk, she was just approaching the unknown. The unknown personified by none other than Emily Fields. It made Emily shudder to realize Alison had broken down enough to face A alone, ready to die.

Without thinking twice, Emily curled into a ball, her hood on - she knew she had nowhere to run, and she knew Alison would recognize her posture, so she just lay there praying silently for it to be just a dream- the worst, the most painful nightmare from which she would wake up and everything would be, for once, alright.

Except it wasn't, and she felt Alison come really close, remaining quiet, probably considering her options.

Suddenly a frigid hiss broke the silence. "Show your fucking face!"

Emily felt what was coming, she could feel the blonde's looming presence. Ali was practically one step from her, ready to hit her with that torch or to kick her in the back. There really, really was no turning back.

She gasped as she felt cold frigid hands grab her and flip her over, pulling her hood off. She looked up, caught.

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><p>"Em?" Alison's expression was one of utter shock, her eyes wide and unclouded. "What…what are you doing here?"<p>

"I – I was just making sure you're safe," said Emily as she stood up, trying to hide the quiver in her voice, knowing too damn well that she must have sounded unsure and terrified. Alison's expression changed rapidly. It was now annoyance mixed with something else (probably betrayal) which Emily couldn't quite name now, but it made her feel as if Alison's eyes could see right through her, drilling into her soul.

"Don't you _dare_ lie to me, Emily," came the response from the enraged blonde. There was a rough, hoarse angry tone in her voice- it was venomous, like she was ready to attack the brunette. And Alison was, her heart couldn't take this anymore.

"Don't you fucking dare."

Emily declined her head in defeat. This was it. The truth will set you free, they said. She would have laughed at that dryly, if only she had the strength to do anything. "The girls -", she started and paused to catch her breath, knowing that whatever she said next was going to hurt Alison regardless.

"The girls thought it would be a good idea to… to follow you and see w-what you're" she gasped at Alison's sudden groan, "what you're planning. I'm sorry Ali, I –"

"So now you're _spying_ on me? Congratulations Em, you're outdoing yourself," said the blonde and Emily knew, she knew exactly what this sarcasm-dripping tone meant. She could almost see the ice walls rising between them, and she was now holding back tears.

"Enlighten me, Emily, because I'm really curious," Alison carried on. "Am I A? You're clearly more versed in the matter than I am. Am I lurking on the streets of Rosewood in the middle of the night, plotting to kill you, the girls and _myself_?"

Emily was speechless, quivering both from the chilly night air and from the disappointment – mostly in herself. The words cut like razorblades, only they were not pointed at her skin – rather, somewhere significantly deeper. She felt an overwhelming throbbing in her chest and her heart pounding somewhere in her temples. Her vision was growing blurry with the impending tears threatening to fall.

Alison, never breaking the eye contact, continued. "Did I pull you out of that barn just to torture you even more? Did I come back to _kiss_ you," her voice cracked slightly at that, eyes betraying her attempt at not appearing hurt, "and then kill you slowly, along with my other friends? Am I the one you're most afraid of?"

Emily just stared at her, her body a shaking, aching mess.

"Am I?!" Alison demanded coldly, but Emily could read her- she could see the underlying hurt that was clawing at the surface of Alison's frail body.

"No Ali, please let me explain. _Please!_ I – I didn't want to do this, okay? I didn't want to believe in all of that. I needed to be sure…"

"Of what, Emily?"

"I needed to be sure you're not – you didn't…M-Mona..." Emily hesitated as her voice trailed off.

Alison took a deep breath and flinched, seemingly shaking every last emotion off of her system. "Forget it," she said, turning on her heel and walking away from Emily. Something stopped her though, and she turned her head just for a moment, facing a defeated girl, _the_ girl, who was – _used to be – _her only hope in this screwed up world. At the end of it all though, the person Alison was most angry with was herself.

"In fact, forget you ever even knew me." At that, she continued walking away, not even looking at Em again.

"Ali, wait! I love you, Ali!" was heard in the silence of the cemetery, and a few birds flew away from the nearby tree, causing them both to shudder a little. Alison whirled around, frowning, and it was her turn to not be able to believe.

"More than anything or anyone else," the brunette added sheepishly, her voice soft and quiet.

"You have a very interesting way of showing it, Em," was the blonde's dry reply, but Emily saw some kind of brokenness and lost hope flickering in her favorite pair of eyes. And just like that, before she could put a finger on it, Ali turned on her heel once again and attempted to walk away into the cool night.

Emily didn't think twice. She ran to catch up with Ali, caught her by the wrist and pulled her close. She hugged her desperately, as if trying to apologize with her whole body, her whole being, trembling uncontrollably and sobbing. She felt Alison sink into her touch, the blonde's body collapsing with exhaustion and confusion.

It only lasted a few seconds, because Alison gasped and Emily could feel her body tense, and just then she shoved the brunette away, her expression ice-cold, her cerulean eyes bright with…was it disgust?

"Don't."

Only this. But it was the most heartbreaking thing Emily Fields had heard in her entire life.

And she wished – she really did – that she'd been dead, had died right then and there, in that very spot.


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